Sunday 29 January 2012

Jobs for a Junior

My first proper job (excluding YTS slavery) was with a firm of consulting engineers in Birmingham.

  I was a junior working in the drawing office. 'Drawing office' was a loose description and the lads frequently took on the roles of handymen and general dogsbodies.

  These other duties included changing light bulbs and shifting sacks of rubbish down to the skip. I often wondered why we didn't wear boiler suits rather than shirts and ties.
 
 Occasionally more novel tasks would crop up. I once fetched a bottle of scotch for the chief draughtsman (12 year old single malt no less) and placed a horse racing bet on the strength of a tip (PG?) from the tea-lady (came nowhere -  must have read her tea leaves wrong). However, the job that sticks in my mind was when the juniors did a stint of 'guard duty'.

  The firm had been involved in the design of an unpopular road bypass. As a result, protestors had shown their dissaproval by scrawling graffiti and daubing s**t over several of the firm's offices. This triggered a minor panic amongst the Birmingham management. We could be next - the Goths were at the gates of Rome! (well Goths in Brum, possibly).

  I was first on the sentry rota. Armed only with the office mobile phone, (which could have doubled as a club) and a Colin Dexter Novel, I sat in the foyer awaiting an invasion of New Age protesters. If they had decided to storm the office Bastille style I don't know what I could have done. Perhaps fended them off with a cleaners mop while frantically phoning, 'Help! The Crusties are here!'

 In any event nothing happened, Morse solved his case, and I went back upstairs to a boring afternoon  at work.

Wednesday 11 January 2012

Bob's your Uncle

I was sad to hear on friday that Bob Holness had died - another face from my childhood has gone.

  Bob had a long broadcasting career, but is best remembered as the presenter of Blockbusters the tea time quiz for sixth formers with its famous signature tune, hand jives and the eponymous catchphrase 'Can I have a p please Bob?'

 On the face of it, Bob was a unlikely choice as a host. Rather than a young trendy presenter, Bob was a rather avuncular figure - grey haired, bespectacled and smartly dressed. He reminded me of a kindly old lecturer- a little authority, but not patronising in a Jeremy Paxman way.  



 A girl from our sixth form went on Blockbusters, she didn't quite get to the 'Goldrun' stage but went away with the concilatory sweat shirt and dictionary (like the Blankety Blank cheque book and pen, but more use). I wonder if she still has them?

 For myself, being a Blockbusters contestant was about as likely as dating Madonna, but I did see Bob once, as part of a studio audience when he hosted the revamped 'Call my Bluff', with team captains Sandi Toksvig and Alan Coren (sadly also gone).

 Bob you were an 80s icon - I raise a glass to you, 'Lets play Blockbusters!'


Monday 2 January 2012

Robs Reviews - 'Clips from a Life'

Happy New Year everyone!

I haven't made any resolutions, apart from to buy some new trainers - quickly! My old faithfuls will be soon be nipping out the back door for a run on their own (if my wife doesn't sling them in the wheelie bin first!)

  Something new I would like to introduce is the occasional book review, and my first one is Denis Norden's 'Clips from a Life'.


  Growing up in the 80s, Denis was the laid back host of 'It'll Be Alright on the Night' and`Clips from a Life', is a selection of humorous prose from Denis's long and varied career.

  Rather than an old school autobiography, Denis provides a series of snapshots, covering his early days working in cinema and subsequent RAF service, through to his writing partnership with Frank Muir and later television work (It’ll be Alright on the Night etc.)

  As one reviewer noted ‘Clips’ is padded out with a large glossary, which isn’t really necessary, and naturally there is some crossover with Frank Muir’s book ‘A Kentish Lad’.

  Minor criticisms aside, Denis’s anecdotes are very funny and ‘Clips’ is the kind of book to dip into and have a chuckle when you are feeling a bit down.